For the majority of my life I had no idea about women...at all! Embarrassing thing to say I know but, its the truth. I wasn't a typically shy person really, I've always been friendly and open but around girls especially attractive girls I was timid and always put them on a pedestal. And if I did find the balls to speak to one I would always be the funny guy. Thinking that by getting them to laugh I was going to somehow get them to date me. After all, isn't that was you always hear? Girls love a guy with a sense of humor!
One thing I never heard though is that if you're not being serious about what you want being the funny guy is a sure fire way to get a one way ticket to the dreaded "friend zone", I tremble at the thought of that terrible place.
I saw other people, friends, and relatives get girls all the time, but to me women were a mystery. To make matters worse the girls who were my friends would always say I was cute, I didn't want to be cute damn it! Puppies are cute, grandpa is cute, ugh or that I was a great guy. I mean not great enough to date but a great guy none the less.....yay.
So a few years back I was bound and determined to figure this shit out. Or else start buying stock in hand lotion companies. It wasn't easy and it took a lot of work, like most worthwhile things, but eventually I started seeing some fruit of my labor.
Why am I writing a post on getting a girlfriend on a self development website? Because, on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the need for love is number 3 on the list. The journey to self development is a lot easier when you can live a life of abundance when it comes to women. Plus its just a lot of fun to talk about lol.
So here's a quick and by no means exhaustive list of ways to go from a porn connoisseur to having a loving girlfriend.
1. Know your weaknesses. Are you shy or afraid of rejection? If so make it a practice to speak to everyone men, women, old folks, kids, it doesn't matter but, at least once a day make an observational statement to a complete stranger. Why? It will help you begin to think on your feet. Plus, speaking to strangers will get you out of your head and your comfort zone. Think of it as a social experiment because that's what it is. You'll discover the world is full of really nice people!
2. Put real effort into how you dress. Now I'm not saying break the bank here but what I did was buy one article of clothing per pay period. Look either online or to people you know in your circle that are your body type and stylish and begin to incorporate your new stuff piece by piece until you have two or three outfits you know you look good in. No more baggy clothes or shitty haircuts! This was actually one of my favorite parts of getting better with women. Girls really do go crazy for a sharp dressed man!
3. Study naturals. They can be friends, family, actors, it really doesn't matter but any guy or hell girl for that matter that is good with women, study them like your sex life depended on it! I really nerded out with on this one. I really liked Neil Caffrey from the show White Collar. It threw me off when I found out the actor Matt Bomer was gay, never would of guessed it. lol Anyway, you'll be able to pick up a lot of subtle things they do! Like for instance, move slowly in the way you walk and talk. Women are attracted to power, always have been always will be, get used to it and embrace it! Think about it. How many truly powerful men are in a hurry to do shit?
That is just one example but, I can't stress enough how studying those that are naturally good with women will help your game.
4. Relax she's just a girl. She's one of four billion give or take, so fight the scarcity mentality and the urge to chase and over pursue. If there is one thing that will turn a girl off quicker than fuck all its neediness. This one was probably one of my biggest hurdles to be honest. I was just always pressing and building each encounter up in my head so largely out of proportion, that by the time I actually spoke to the girl, she could just sense something was off. And there was, I was being needy! To get to a point where you can allow women to flow in and out of your life freely is a truly liberating and attractive mindset to be in.
5. Find your passion. This is easily the most important thing you can do to get yourself a girlfriend. Women are natural followers in a relationship and there is nothing more attractive than a man who knows what his passion is and is actively pursuing it. A man like that, a woman will follow anywhere. So start creating a life that you find exciting and I guarantee sooner rather than later women will be beating down your door. Finding your passion also has a lot of other benefits which in go into more detail here. Speaking of beating down your door though, that leads me to my final point.
6. Date more than one girl at a time. If you can break out of your shell and progress to where you can actually get real life girls out on an actual date, then please by all means date as many as your budget will allow! One of my friends thought this was funny and at one point he called it "first date Friday!" Note, you don't have to sleep with all of them. I actually discourage that because that can and probably will get messy really quickly! I could go on a whole tangent about that but for our purpose here the main point is to just get a girlfriend, not become Hugh Hefner in his prime. Anyway, nothing kills neediness faster than having a few great options. Once you get to a place where you are not hung up on one individual girl, before you know it one of those beauties will start wanting to become exclusive. Then you can ease into a relationship with a beautiful girl who is already into you...ahhh :)
This is a longer post than usual but there is just so much to go over and I wanted to be as detailed as possible. This is by no means everything obviously but if you follow these 6 simple steps, notice I didn't say easy steps, you will be more than on your way to becoming a more self-actualized man who can focus on all the other cool things that life has to offer. Plus you'll have a pretty hot plus one to enjoy them with.
Best of life, Kris
Have you overcome an obstacle with the opposite sex? If so share in the comments! And as always if you enjoyed reading this post like and share!