I don't know about you but there has always been a huge difference between the fantasy and the reality of drinking.
The idea of drinking a couple of beers on the beach or sipping a scotch in the mountains with a good woman on my arm and lots of friends around. Watching the snow fall softly around us as we sit back and laugh into the night.
Aaannnnnndddd freeze frame, because the reality is more like I'm not in the mountains, I'm alone on my couch playing video games and getting shit faced. Barricading myself in solitude while the world goes on without me.
Now don't get me wrong of course I've gone out and had fun while drinking, but for me and other problem drinkers, drinking was only fun until it wasn't. For the normal drinker that fantasy can be a reality. A never ending good time with one or two beers or a glass of wine to set the mood and knock the edge off. For me and millions of other people we forfeited that fantasy long ago by blowing through boundaries of moderation.
I've heard a lot of people talk about drinking heavily to escape their painful reality or suppress some terrible past. But if I'm being honest, that wasn't me. I was just a greedy little shit who liked to get fucked up. Who drank and partied more and more until like I said, I forfeited the ability to stop at just a couple.
For me drinking now consist of weighing the pros and cons. Deciding on what I want my life to look like. And if I can sit back and try to look at it objectively the cons of drinking far out weigh the benefits.
As I've gotten farther away from my sober date the physical urge to drink has all but gone away. What really is the danger now is the mental image of drinking being more than what it really is. A fantasy reality of good times with no consequences.
Now before you go feeling sorry for me and others like me don't! Why? Because I now have a great opportunity in front of me. I live a great life surrounded by love and possibility that is no longer weighed down by the burden of constant mental fogginess and a never ending money pit.
I have a loving woman, a new puppy, and I'm about to finally graduate college. Well there is a light at the end of the tunnel anyway. :) And a plan to live a grand adventure. That's what I must focus on now and the beautiful part about it is its not a fantasy! It's a hopeful future coupled with clear strategic thinking.
So do I miss drinking? Sure, but not as much as I look forward to the future in my mind's eye. Not as much as I enjoy the life I live now.
So if you have decided to quit drinking or are thinking about it. Do yourself a favor. Make the decision final. Crush the fantasy of successful drinking and enjoy the fruits of sobriety. Because, within you is the power to create a life that is better than any fantasy!
Best of life, Kris