Jokes Page

 
 

I love jokes and I bet you do too!

 

I'm already doing 60 in a 30 mph zone and still that guy is sticking to me. And now he's blinding me with these fancy blinking blue lights. The world is full of psychos!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles!

9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I'm too fat. The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of ice cream.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Johnson stopped to have a talk with the child. Smiling sweetly, She said, Johnny, when i was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and said, "Well, Ms. Johnson, You can't say you weren't warned.

What are Mario's favorite pants? Demin Denim Denim!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house.       knock knock....who's there? The chicken!

Yo mama so fat Jesus couldn't lift her spirits!

I like Jesus, but He loves me...so its kinda awkward

Little Johnny was sitting at the park eating two candy bars and this old man came up and said, "Son you shouldn't eat two candy bars at the same time like that." Little Johnny said, "Well my granddad lived to be 101."  The old man said, "Well did he eat candy bars like that?" No but he minded his own fucking business! 

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colors? He had a reptile dysfunction!

I went to the zoo the other day. It only had one dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!

What does a nosey pepper do?  Gets jalapeño business!

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean one person likes it?

A day without sunshine is like, night!